i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
