Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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