I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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