Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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