So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
