i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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