she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize