Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
