omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
