his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
