Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
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Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
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Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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