why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
