she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
