Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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