Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
