I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
