So drunk its hurt
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
