Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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