I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
