I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
