I swear she didn't look like that last week.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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