I just saw a hot homeless man
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
