were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize