it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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