Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
