In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I supernannyed him into submission
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
