so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
