I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
