I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
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I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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