I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
