so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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