i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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