Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize