wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
