gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
