Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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