Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
