Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
