So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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