we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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