i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
