I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize