Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
