you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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