Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
