I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
