Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
