one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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