i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
