yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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