She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
