He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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