So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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