yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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