its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
