Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
so much tequila, so little girl.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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