I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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