literally had 100 drinks last night.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is Oprah even human
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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