Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize