wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
