Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
