What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
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I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
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Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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