you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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