I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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