would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
