I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize