addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
